Feelings of failure
Failure (noun): an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success
When we think of failure, the feelings we associate with it are usually uncomfortable at best and brutally negative at worst. We have this narrative running through our minds that ‘failure is bad’ and we have been fed this line in our culture for so long from family, friends, trusted leaders, academics, mentors...you name it.
I reached out to you and asked ‘’what emotion do you feel when you think of failure?” and the responses were mostly what I anticipated; guilt, fatigue, disappointment, worthlessness, shame, fear, judgment, inferiority, incompetence, and on and on. I hear the same story from clients as we debrief the seasons and situations in their work.
How many decisions do you make a day? Adults make on average 35,000 decisions each day and researchers at Cornell University have concluded that we make 226.7 decisions each day on just food alone.
Yes, some days, deciding what to make for lunch can feel draining...but so often it’s those BIG decisions lurking around in the back of your mind that takes up so much of your time and energy.
That’s time and energy that you could be using to move your business forward - making it what you know it can be.
I've been there. I have let decisions stick around for way too long, eating up my creativity, inspiration, and my motivation.
There are now 2 weeks left of 2019...and yes, the end of the decade.
I've been hearing so many people share their wins and challenges of 2019 lately as we start planning for their big dreamy goals for 2020.
Have you taken a moment to jot down some of your big moments of the past year yet? What are the things you are really proud of?
Andrew Fraser (PR Consultant & Social Storyteller) and I had such a great morning connecting with a roomful of business owners, organizations, freelancers, and entrepreneurs who were ready to start thinking about their goals for 2020, reflect on their past year and get really clear on what their social storytelling will look like going into the next year.
When I think back to the Balance & Boundaries event, I find myself smiling, nodding, and taking a deep breath.
I’m smiling because it felt so damn good to hear three successful women in our business community share such real, honest, and relatable stories to a roomful of over 35 entrepreneurs.
While this may look like a laundry basket filled with bread, it is actually so much more than that.
It is community, business, nourishment and education.
I can tell you that I do not look (or feel!) this happy at a traditional networking event. I've been to so many of them, in different cities/towns/provinces, and have decided to create the kind of networking event I would be excited to go to...and I'm so happy to trusted my gut to go with it!
While I have enjoyed meeting new people and deepening connections with folks I already know in networking events, there is something about the very traditional networking event that often makes me cringe. I think it is in part due to the pressure to talk with as many people as we can, finding someone interesting to talk to and feeling worried about what you'll actually talk about when you do meet them (and let's be honest...how to leave a conversation that isn't filling you up!).
Creating space for reflection is priceless especially when you are busy making decisions, taking chances, and growing and/or scaling your business.
It may seem counterintuitive to slow down just as you are speeding up but pausing regularly, as you are moving your business forward, can be hugely beneficial.
And all too often, we take time to think about why we failed and not as often to think about how we succeeded. Especially once it’s over and you are moved on to the next thing, right?
In my past work, I supported complex systems change work as a Developmental Evaluator with a national youth engagement project, called YouthScape. Think, many community groups working together in order to do better at engaging young people in their communities and organizations.
It was my job to deeply listen, watch and pose questions, nudge gently, and share observations, so that changes could be made in real time and not wait until the end of the initiative.
I think setting intentions may be the gateway to manifesting.
I can get behind the woo woo and my close friends would tell you I’m more woo woo that I think. I really do believe that good things happen to good people and that a positive mindset can make a difference in helping you move forward.
Nearly 10 years ago, we packed up our life in BC and drove across the country to the South Shore with all our worldly possessions (mainly our bikes, boats and surfboards) piled in and on top our little car...arriving mid-January in Lunenburg. We also had no jobs, no friends/family in the area or even a long term place to live. However, within 4 months we both had full-time work in our fields (he found a teaching job and I started working at the local women’s center), a short term rental and our eyes on a dream house that became our current home.
We've all had one of 'those' conversations. The kind that falls flat at best and cuts deeply at worst. Sometimes we walk into those conversations feeling prepared and rehearsed - knowing the key points you want to get across, focused on listening to the other person, and still it does not end the way you imagined. Other times, we rush into communicating without any thought at all and everything is beautiful.
Why is it that some conversations do not land well and others are flawless?
What I have experienced is that exceptional communication can be boiled down to 5 simple elements. Person. Place. Time. Tone. Content. Easy? Not always. Doable? Absolutely.
When you have all 5 right, you'll hit it out of the park almost every time. Really, even if you can get 4 of them nailed most of the time, you're doing pretty good!
It all comes down to communicating with the right person in the right place at the right time in the right tone with the right content.